Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. Accountants don't die - they just lose their balance.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Who stopped payment on my reality check?